


Swing

by Taim



Series: Fandomstuck Smut Series [7]
Category: Fandomstuck - Fandom
Genre: Agender Character, Alien Biology, Bad Puns, Bathroom Sex, M/M, Piercings, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, cock piercings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 14:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7535779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taim/pseuds/Taim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never expected to get fucked on a bathroom counter with your face in the sink. You also never expected the weird french kid to be hung like a horse. Guess you learn all kinds of things about yourself at parties.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Swing

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by anonymous: "or, offstuck, fucking somewhere they really shoudn't, like in a bathroom during a party?"
> 
> OFF is agender and uses they/them pronouns.  
> “Are you a boy or a girl” “I’m on a sacred mission” “But what’s in your pants” “Purification”  
> Also, google translate is horrible but I have very few other options.

It wasn’t a party. It was a night to get laid. Everyone knew it deep down, even if they didn’t really realize it. Eyes wandered and clothes ended up… somewhere to be found in the morning, when inhibitions came back with a vengeance. Also known as a hangover.

Or at least, that’s what it seemed to Homestuck.

Which is why he’s conveniently forgetting his two (three? four?) boyfriends.

Which is why he’s naked from the waist down.

Which is why he’s in a bathtub.

Which is why the french kid he spent a really weird summer with is holding him up against the wall, higher than he’d normally be okay with.

Which is why his legs are looped over their shoulders and around their muscular neck, that freakish cat mask they always wore pulled up just enough to press their chapped lips to the troll’s dripping nook.

Which is why he’s fumbling to get a condom out of his sylladex and tear it open for the ‘friend’ doing a very good job of tongue-fucking his brains out.

He’s dropped a little too quickly, callused hands on his ass and sharp hip bones being the only thing holding him up as he struggles to slide the rubber onto the other’s “bat”, hands shaking with need.

Oh dear god, he was not expecting them to be so big. He probably should have though, considering how many jokes the fandom had about bats and big dicks.

But that couldn’t prepare him for the metal. A fucking pierced dick. Five fucking piercings. Nice and shiny. Four studs on each side of the shaft, the ridge of the bars connecting the pairs just visible from this angle. And to top it all off, a big steel loop through the tip of the length. Each was decorated with an onyx stone. Prince Albert climbing Jacob’s ladder.

Oh Signless, that’s sick. And hot. Really hot. According to the way his nook just clenched. Fuck everything.

_“Ami?”_

“In me. Now.” Words aren’t his strong suit tonight, too drunk and maybe a little high off whatever was in that pie to really think past getting scored on. Neither is ennunciation really, but it must’ve been clear enough for OFF because suddenly he can barely breathe, stuffed full and trying hard not to call the whole thing to a stop.

Dear fucking lord, those piercings are incredible, pushing in so slow and popping in one after another, perfectly spaced. Just four pair and yet they had him twitching and bucking already. Good god-

“Oh, Jesus _fuck-_ ”

“ _Bien?_ ”

“Very _bien._ Ah, fuck… _Move…_ ”

That’s all they need apparently. The troll whimpers as the studs drag on his walls on the way out, the sound turning into a soft keen as they push in again, not quite slowly. Oh dear god, he really needs to talk Nat into getting some of these…

“Shhh…”

Fuck, that’s right. They’re in a bathroom at someone else’s home. The only thing protecting them from getting caught is the curtain and the door. The door he didn’t lock.

“Di- id… did you lock it?”

“Didn’t you?”

“Fuck, we need to-”

He’s cut off by a harder thrust, the catch of the metal causing him to squeak.

“Nah…”

“God, _OFF!_ We’ll get caught!”

“And you’re getting _off_ to the risk…”

“No I’m-”

“You just clenched up like a vice, Stuck.”

“…S- shut up and fu- uck me.”

He gasps as the other thrusts again, nice and deep. He lets his head fall back against the tiles, panting. His eyes flutter shut as lips drag over his neck, a deep voice growling beside his ear, _“Gladly.”_

He might’ve passed out after the other finally got started, sharp and precise thrusts slamming into something far too deep in him and making his shoulders thud against the wall over and over. His eyes roll back and he just falls limp then, soaking up the pleasure that feels like it’s going to be the best kind of hell in the morning.

“Fu- uck, fu- uck, fuck, fuck…”

It’s the only word he can get out and barely hears it at first, doesn’t really notice or care about the way his claws are shredding OFF’s back. The only thing he knows right now is that he’s getting loud and those thrusts just keep getting faster, deeper, harder, _fuck_.

“ _Sale pute_ …”

He doesn’t have to understand a word of french to understand the implications of what he was just called. The tone in OFF’s voice is enough, and the suddenly brutal slam against the wall removes any doubt.

“Louder, _vous, baise salope_ …”

If the fucker keeps this up, he’s gonna need to ask Hetalia to whisper dirty french in his ear next time they’re having a pitchplay scene. That or at least ask what OFF is saying here because they sound hot enough already…

Homestuck almost shrieks when he’s suddenly picked up, shoved down to take everything. God, his poor nook… He doesn’t bother to think about that though, not as OFF starts bouncing him on their cock with nothing but big, strong hands to hold him up. God, he’s gonna come soon like this. Gravity is a bitch and it’s fucking him over on OFF’s length and _fuck_ , OFF’s moving now and each step feels like it’s driving that steel ring right past his clenched seedflap and into his genetic bladder. He’s gonna pass out from this when he finally gets to finish, he can tell already.

He can’t stop the desperate sound that tears out of him as they lay him over the counter and pull out, just long enough to flip him over and then shove back into him. The cold metal of the sink is pressing into Stuck’s cheek but he doesn’t care about anything besides the constant, erratic friction inside him. The sounds turn to sobs before long, begging to be filled up like a filthy bitch just so he can get some kind of release. But god, they’re insatiable and apparently have the stamina of a god as they keep pounding away at him, feeling so much deeper in this position. He wants to scream their name over and over until they finally finish up with him and leave him there on the bathroom floor. God, when did he become so depraved?

“OFF, OFF, please, I ca- an’t, I _can’t,_ please-”

His begging turns into pitiful sounds as he sobs into the sink, thighs suddenly grabbed and hauled up around OFF’s waist and used as leverage to thrust harder into him. He can feel his belly rubbing the countertop as he’s tugged back and forth.

He doesn’t get a chance for warning as he’s suddenly curling in tight on himself, shoving the fatty part of his hand between his teeth as his body attempts to orgasm without any fluid in him, the spike of heat and pleasure and pain and _oh god oh god oh god–_

The other is taken by surprise but he barely feels the falter in their pace as they try to make sure he’s okay. He’s lost in sensation, the hypersensitivity brought on by one false climax just throwing him into another one, building him up until he’s actually reduced to nothing more than pitiful babbling that doesn’t make sense even to him. He might’ve cried for a few moments.

The constant flutter of his walls finally proves to be OFF’s undoing as they shove in deep and make an absolutely delicious sound against Homestuck’s shoulder blade. They bite down to muffle the moan, but the troll makes more than enough noise for both of them as his insides are flooded with warmth even if it is all caught by the latex. It’s not quite what he wants, but it’s enough to calm his body down enough that the false finishes stop tearing through him. He’ll just use the showerhead in a moment to really take care of it.

For now though, all he knows is the feeling of a body against his back and the way his cheek and thighs are starting to ache. He’s so tired… That was incredible and now the booze and sopor and the fucking amazing sex… He just wants to pass the fuck out…

“OFF… I can’t… M’ legs…”

There’s no reply, but at least his legs are released and lowered, lips ghosting along his neck and collar now as he gasps for air. God, they’re still in him…He can feel the piercings…

He whines when they finally pull back. He doesn’t want it to end, but he knows there’s no way he can keep going or start again any time soon.

They don’t leave right away. He’s thankful for that at least. He can’t walk, much less make it to the shower or even put on his pants right now. But they don’t leave and that makes it okay. They sit there against the door, Homestuck’s head on OFF’s shoulder and rolling around limply. He’s little more than a ragdoll right now, though OFF isn’t in much better shape.

They watch as the troll turns on just a light stream of warm water and lays down in the bathtub, letting the steady flow drip over the lips of his nook and then between them. They hold his hand and don’t look away as he spreads himself with his fingers and guides the water to flow into him, the heat mimicking that of genetic material and appeasing his body’s screaming to procreate.

He lets the warmth roll around in him for a while and mix with the fluid he’s contributed in his genetic bladder. When enough time has passed, the other holds him against their chest and fingers him to a final climax. This might’ve happened during that summer. It was strange and he can’t remember most of it, but the masked fandom seems to know just how to do this, surprisingly gentle now compared to before. They don’t speak but they don’t need to.

Once they’re both finally satisfied and dressed, they do leave. The party ended some time after Homestuck passed out on the table in the hall. He does wake up to find a paper in his pocket though, with a number he doesn’t recognize and a nice orange X surrounded by three circles on it.

Looks like he might be doing this again sometime.


End file.
